Eating Penguin... and other acts of nonsense.

Welcome to Eating Penguin, where your senses will be assaulted by ruminations of the absurd and unique outlook of one hunter of world renown. Okay, maybe I made up the part about world renown, but everything else is accurate.

Friday, December 9, 2011


I was having dinner and copious amounts of alcohol with a very good friend of mine last night and we began discussing the merits of 'mininmalism'.

Okay, that's not entirely true.  It began by my explaining to him my fascination with tasting penguin meat and how I was trying to arrange a safari to Wake Island, just in case they might have the original Angry Birds there.  C'mon, they have to be the original Angry Birds, right?  Wouldn't you be pissed if you were a big-ass bird, but flightless?  Thought so.

Not so much with my friend.  While I was talking, I noticed he had his fancy smart-phone out and was Googling how to have someone committed for observation.  Not that I'm paranoid or anything, but I felt it was a good time to move on to different subjects.

His diabolical use of the smart-phone led us to the wonders of modern achievement and how much easier life is today.  My friend (I'll call him Rollie, so if I ever am committed against my will, everyone will know exactly who threw me under the psychiatric bus...) decided he could live life without the many and various advantages we enjoy today.

I had to think about that for a moment.  I mean, we really do have some really cool stuff these days.  Not that I have any of them, mind you.  I don't own the latest and greatest in innovation.  I manage to catch up with it later, when the prices have gone down a bit.  Of course, that sometimes means they may be a bit outdated by then.  I was trying to justify my lifestyle to my son recently and he disagreed with me.

"Dad, do you even know what century this is?"

"Of course I do, Shane.  What's that got to do with anything?"

"I'm 24, Dad.  You television is 12 years older than I am.  You do the math..."

Hey, what can I say?  That TV is a 27" color television.  Pretty cool, huh?  Well, at least that's what people were saying when it was new.  I told Rollie about it and he was very impressed.  "I remember that TV from years ago.  Why do you keep it around?  Nostalgia?"

"No, actually, I watch "Bones" on it."

I snatched his smart-phone from him before he could check on commitment procedures again.

Okay, it's true that I may not be as up-to-date as most people.  I'm okay with broadcast television and refuse to pay for cable or satellite.  I have owned only two brand-new vehicles in my life; the first one lasted me twenty years and well over 300,000 miles.  I'm seven years into the latest purchase, so I figure I'm good for awhile.

But I am determined to move on in life.  Which explains why I am using something called a laptop computer to check on transportation modes and costs to Wake Island.

I'm gonna bag me a penguin yet.

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